I Need You
by 7 Ace
Summary: Jacob leaves Nessie for a job in Texas, but was it worth it? This is the story of how Nessie and Jacob deal with his decision to leave.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I've come up with songs that work as a soundtrack for this story. This chapter's songs are Slipped Away and When You're Gone, by Avril Lavigne.**

Chapter One

_I can still remember the day you left. The day you broke my world. You thought it would be best to leave me here alone. Yeah, I have my family, but why can't I have you? Things have been so different. I started college a while ago__,__ and I met someone. But I can't stop thinking about that day._

Before I continue to write, I look off into space as I remember one of the worst days of my life.

_**"Why are you leaving me?" I **__**yell**__** at **__**him**__**.**_

_**"I have business in Texas; another Alpha needs my help," **__**he**____**tells**__** me.**_

_**"Take me with you!"**_

_**"I can't. I don't want you to get hurt again because of me."**_

_**"You think you can decide that? You think you can decide when I can be with you? That you can keep me here?" I **__**am**__** furious.**_

_**"I don't want to be with you anymore**__**,**__** Nessie. I'm sorry," **__**he**____**says**__** as **__**he**____**walks**__** away from me.**_

_**"How can you say that to me**__**,**__** Jacob Black? How?"**_

_**"Because it's the truth."**_

I snap out of my reminiscing to finish writing my entry.

_I loved you and you walked away. You slipped away and I needed you! How could everything just fall apart? _

_I'm close to graduating soon,__ and I met someone a year ago. You left three years, seven months, and ten days ago. I could tell you the hours, minutes and seconds, but it wouldn't matter. You aren't coming back._

_I'm sitting here waiting for my boyfriend to come back from his class. Thanks to you leaving, I needed comfort. Everyone pretty much ignored me, but this one guy came up to me and started talking to me. Since then, we've __become__ somewhat close. I'll never be as close to him as I was to you. There's no way in hell I can do that. You're my mate__,__ and for some bizarre reason either your imprint broke__,__ which I doubt__,__ or you are hiding from something or someone. _

_I'm writing my thoughts down so that when I see you again, I can throw this damn book in your face for you to read__. I want you to __see how you've made me suffer! He's coming through the door, so I __better hide__ this away again._

_~Renesmee~_

College has been interesting. I found someone that I believe I could love. His name is Daniel. Daniel and I have been together for a year. I am part human and part vampire, which no one really understands. My mom was human and my dad is a vampire. I was born 10 years ago, but I look 17. I took all of my courses online and easily graduated high school, and I'm just now finishing my first attempt of college. I didn't go to traditional high school because it would have seemed too suspicious how fast I was growing. However, college is a different story, and I am free to go the traditional route now, since my growth has leveled out. My mom never had the chance to go to college as a human.

She'll be doing it soon, though, but not too soon because after I graduate next week, I'll be going back to high school with Mom, Dad, Uncle Em, Uncle Jazz, Aunt Alice, and Aunt Rose. We'll be acting as if Gram and Gramps are our parents. It's easier than trying to explain to everyone that Bella's my mom, especially when I look her age. I can't wait! It's going to be so much fun!

I meant what I wrote to Jacob. Daniel isn't what I want. I want Jacob, but he left me. He gave me a stupid excuse about some job in Texas. I needed companionship; I needed someone to care about me.

"Hey, Ren, how was class?" Everyone calls me Ren or Renee because I don't want anyone calling me what Jacob used to call me.

"I'm okay. It was all right, I guess. I had Biology and English, so I didn't really pay attention." He nods as he walks over and gives me a kiss. "How was your day, Danny?"

He throws his backpack onto the recliner and sits down on the couch next to me. "It was all right. Are you okay, Babe?"

I shake my head. "No, I miss my mom."

He kisses me again and says, "Babe, when was the last time you ate?"

I turn toward him and say, "Breakfast." I really need to hunt soon, though. I've been eating human food, but I could really use a mountain lion! Daniel gets up and walks into the kitchen, so follow him, and I watch him as he takes out hamburgers from the fridge.

"What happened to us going out tonight? We were going to go to the club, have a night out," I say to him with a frown.

"Don't get started with me! I don't feel like going out, so we're not going out! Do you understand me?" he shouts at me. I flinch and glare at him.

"What the fuck? Don't you dare start yelling at me! It was a simple question, Daniel," I say, taken aback. _If Auntie Rose were here, she would have kicked his ass for that!_

I walk back to the living room and sit back down on the couch. After about ten minutes, he walks into the living room carrying two plates, one for me and one for himself. "Baby, I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's been a hell of a day."

"Then why did you tell me that it was all right?" I ask in a whisper.

"I didn't want you to worry. Now, please eat," he says handing me my plate and sitting down next to me.

He overcooked my burger, but I can't tell him that because he doesn't know about my normal eating habits. I prefer my meat raw, but if he knew that he'd freak out because he's only human. I haven't used my gifts on him because I can't be found out.

When we've finished eating, I go into the bedroom and lie down. He scoots onto the bed so that he can lie behind me, spooning me. He starts kissing my neck, and I shiver. Being with Danny sexually was hard at first, but the more I've been with him, the easier it has become. I'm not happy that it has to be a human, but the only supernatural being I want to be with is Jacob. Hell, the only person I want to be with, period, is Jacob. I turn around so that I can kiss him, though.

We start slowly and passionately, but then the kiss becomes needy and hungry. When it comes to this man, the only thing I can do is make him think I want him. If I don't have someone, I'll just retreat into myself again. I can't do that. He rolls us over so that he is on top. "God, Ren," he says, gasping for air, "I need you, babe."

I can tell how much he needs me by how hard he is against my skirt-clad thigh. "Yes, Danny, please. Please? I want you so bad." He kisses me faster and harder. I start to reach for the hem of his shirt, and he lifts his arms almost immediately so I can quickly take it off of him. He grabs the bottom of my tank top and lifts it above my head.

"God, you're beautiful," he says as he looks at my body.

"So are you," I say as I run my hand from his chest down to his lower abdomen, and he moans as I unzip his pants and wrap my hand around his cock. I start pumping, and he sits back on his heels and rocks his hips against my hands. "Renee, oh God, Renee!" he screams when I grab his balls and massage them with one hand while still pumping with the other. He's breathing hard, and I push him to lie back down.

He does as he's told, and I kiss him while I continue to pump him. I kiss his lips, down his neck, over his chest, and then slowly make my way to his groin, slipping him into my mouth. "Ah! Renee, baby, God you feel so good... Look at me, baby."

I look up at him as I start to suck harder. He grabs the back of my head and rocks his hips, trying to keep up with me. Then I feel him stiffen before he releases himself inside my mouth. "Oh, God, Renee!" I keep sucking him until he relaxes, and then I sit up and wipe my mouth on my arm with a smile. "God, babe...that was...wow..."

"Yes, it was," I say, climbing on top of him. _Yeah, it _was_ wow. I can't believe I'm still doing this. I feel horrible being with this man. I feel like I'm cheating on Jacob. Fuck it. He left me__;__ I should at least be able to get fucked once in a while!_ "I got you off, now you need to fuck me until you can't stop. I want you to fuck me hard..." I whisper into his ear.

"Jesus, baby," he says, rolling us so that he's above me again. I can't believe I'm with someone other than Jacob. I can't just lay here with him, so I start to kiss him and he pulls our bodies closer together. He kisses me along my jaw line, down my throat, and then stops when he gets to my breasts. _I don't want to be close to Daniel__.__ I just want to feel again. _He continues kissing my chest until he swirls his tongue around my right nipple, making me arch my back so that I can feel more of his mouth on me. _Think of Jacob...don't think about anything but Jacob. This should be Jacob with me! _In my mental wanderings, Daniel has managed to get hard again.

He kisses me desperately and strips off my thong before lining himself up with me. With no warning, he plunges into me. As we collide, we both moan because of the welcome friction. Daniel is gifted in his size, but he is nothing like Jacob. _God, I miss him..._ He moves at a steady pace, pulling out and stopping before pushing into me again.

He keeps going like that until I can't take it anymore. "Danny, please! Stop teasing me!" He takes that as a challenge and smirks at me.

"You want me hard and fast, babe?"

I nod furiously. "Yes, God, yes!" He picks up his speed and finally hits me in the right spot. "Yes, yes, oh God! Danny! I'm...ah...so...uh uh... close!"

He pounds into me and whispers, "Come for me, baby! God, please come for me!" He thrusts a few more times, and I scream his name as I come. He thrusts into me a few more times faster than he had earlier before he releases inside me. He rests his head on my chest as we try to catch our breath. "God, Ren...that was fucking amazing." I nod and run my hands through his brown hair, which is drenched with sweat. I let him lie still inside me, since his weight doesn't really bother me, before sliding out of me and pulling me close so that we're lying there, holding each other. I hate this. I start crying as I look at this man who says he loves me because I can't return the sentiment. I'm still Jacob's girl. I'll always be Jacob's girl.

We fall asleep, and I am the first to wake up mere hours later. I lie in bed for a while, watching him sleep, before I reach into my nightstand for my journal. I flip on my iPod and begin to write.  
><em><br>It's just another day lying next to Daniel__.__He__ still hasn't woken up. I don't think I'll ever get over what you did to me. We were so close to each other__,__ and then this damn job pops up and you can't be with me anymore! I still don't understand it! You're supposed to want to be with me. You couldn't stay away from me when I was younger__, so why__ would __my__ being eight make any fucking difference? Why? I can't believe you! I haven't heard anything from you! I don't even know if you're okay! Daniel's stirring__…__ I have to go._

_~Renesmee~_

"Hey, darling," Daniel says drowsily.

"Hey, Danny," I reply with a smile. "I'm going to go take a shower."

I try to get up, but he stops me. "Not yet, you aren't. You have to fuck me first."

_What the hell? He's never been like this! A few temper tantrums here and there, but this is different. His stance is different; he's more rigid__,__ and he looks like he's ready to pounce. I'm not going to let him do anything._

"No, I'm going to take a shower!" I say firmly, pulling away and walking toward the bathroom.

He gets up and pushes me to the floor. _How did he get me on the floor? I was in complete control of my balance, but he __still managed to get__ me on the floor. He's __only__ human__,__ damn it! _

"I said you are going to fuck me first!"

"No, I'm not!" I say, trying to get up, but then he pushes me down and gets behind me. He lies on top of me, holding my arms and legs down, and then forces himself into me. I scream.

"Danny, no, please! Danny, no!" _This can't be happening! Not Danny! Why? _

"Shut up, bitch!"

I start crying because I'm so afraid. I might be a vampire, but I'm only half, and Danny is not a weakling. _He would always be kind to me, even after __yelling__ at me. He'd come up to me and hug me and apologize. This is so different... I don't like it. _

"God, you feel good," he says as he pounds into me harder and harder.

"Please stop! Danny, stop!"

He doesn't listen to me. He moves to pull out so that he can push in harder, but I move just before he can push into me again. The shock finally fades away, and I can't handle the way he's being physical anymore. I run into the bathroom, where I keep my cell phone.

The first thing that I do is call my dad.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

APOV

_Nessie screaming, "Please stop! Danny__,__ stop!" Someone is raping her. Nessie's crying._

I jump off of my bed and run to Edward and Bella's cottage while Jasper runs after me, worried. "Alice, what's going on?"

"Someone is raping our niece," I say as I continue running. He speeds up so that he's running beside me, and he holds my hand, trying to soothe me.

When we get to the porch, Edward is just opening the door. "Alice, what is it?"

I think back to the vision but stop because I don't want him to find out from me. "Jasper, what is going on here?" he demands.

I glare at Jasper and he replies, "Something is happening to Nessie." He looks at me with sad eyes, apologizing.

"Alice? Is everything okay? You look upset," Bella says as she walks up beside my brother.

"Alice is blocking me." He glares at me, and I run to the phone, pointing at it hurriedly.

"Answer it, now!"

Edward looks at me, confused, but answers the phone. "Hello?"

NPOV

"Daddy, I need to come home! Please come get me?"

"Darling, what's wrong?"

"Daddy, please just come get me!"

"I'm on my way, sweetheart."

"Thank you."

I hang up the phone and put my cell phone back into my hiding spot, behind the picture on the wall. Then I open the door to the shower and walk in after locking the bathroom door. I turn on the hot water and sit on the floor of the shower, letting the water hit my body as I let the tears fall. Thankfully I'm a hybrid. I healed up pretty quickly, but that doesn't mean that I'm emotionally okay. With vampires, everything is heightened. When they're mad, they're angry. When they're in love, it seems like they're obsessed. When they're sad, they're in agony. I'm emotionally weak from the shock and stress of Danny's violation. I cannot understand why someone who says he loves me would hurt me!You don't rape someone you care about! You just don't!

_None of this would have happened if you __had__ stayed with me! I never would have met him! How was I supposed to know he'd rape me?_

I continue to cry in the shower, waiting for my dad to come get me. I hear Daniel screaming at me to let him in. I don't listen to him because the more I do, the more I'll want to reciprocate the pain he caused me.

"Baby, please let me explain!"

"Get the fuck away from me!"

"Please, it's not my fault!"

"Like it's not! You raped me because I wanted a fucking shower!"

"Oh, God... It was another flashback... Baby, please, I...I had another flashback. I get sexually violent because I have PTSD."

Flashbacks, tossing and turning, restless, moody, antisocial... Shit! This can't be happening! Why didn't I see it?

"PTSD...? You've got to be kidding me!"

"No, I'm not... My dad abused me as a kid. "

"I can't believe this! I can't do this!"

"Please...Renee, don't leave me."

"Go away!"

He walks away from the door just as the front door slams open. I'm crying again as I start thinking about Daddy, thinking _to_ him.

_He's psychotic__,__ Daddy! He has PTSD. He hurt me__,__ Daddy._

He bursts through the bathroom door and sees that I'm crying and naked in the shower. He grabs the white fluffy bathrobe and wraps me up in it. "Alice will come get your stuff later," he grits through his teeth, so quietly only I can hear it. I continue to cry and curl into my daddy's chest, but I relax as he walks us to his car with me in his arms like I'm still his baby girl.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know what he did?"

"Yes..." he says, looking as if he wants to rip Daniel's throat out.

"I didn't know..." I start crying again.

"I don't think anyone did. That _thing_ didn't tell anyone about his issues."

"Daddy, I need my journal."

"If we go back, I'll kill him."

"I can wait. I just don't want him finding it."

"All right. I'm going to call Alice and have her to get your stuff. Then, we'll talk when she gets back."

I nod and say, "Okay, Daddy."

I listen to Dad talk to Alice, telling her to get my stuff, and then he puts his phone away. "So, how were finals?" he asks me.

"They were okay, it wasn't that bad."

"That's good. What are you going to do when we get home?"

"I want to see Uncle Jasper. I need his help." He nods and places me gently in the car before getting in himself to drive us home.

We get home rather quickly with Dad's love of speed. Mom opens the door and Daddy puts me down. I hug Mom and start crying again. She looks at Daddy and raises her eyebrows. I can tell he told her, "Not now," because she lifts me up and takes me into my bedroom. I lie there thinking about absolutely nothing, because if I do I will start crying again.

"Where is she?" a husky voice asks.

"In her bedroom, be quiet," Mom says.

Within a minute, there's a big man standing in my doorway staring at me. "Nessie? Little One, are you okay?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Not at all."

He comes to my bed and sits behind me. I don't move to turn and face him. "Come here, Little Nessie." I roll over and climb onto his lap, cuddling into to his chest with my head in the crook of his neck.

"Uncle Emmett?"

"Yeah, Nessie?"

"I want to gather the family. I want to postpone our high school idea so that I don't have to think about this shit, but I also have to tell them what happened. Before that, I need to be with Uncle Jasper for a while."

"Okay, Little One. Will do. Do you want him right now?"

"No, I've missed you."

"You should get dressed."

"Okay, but I don't want to be alone. Is Auntie Rose here?" I ask as I get up and make my way to my closet.

He nods and says, "I'll go get her."

"No need for that," Auntie Rose says, staring down at the big teddy bear on my bed.

"I'll be out there with everyone else," he says, touching Auntie Rose's hand briefly before walking out.

Both of us nod. I grab my favorite t-shirt, jeans, and my favorite sweatshirt.

"That looks comfortable," Auntie Rose says.

"I'm planning on going for a walk after everyone talks."

She nods and starts pacing. "Can you tell me?"

"He—he—he raped me...be—because I...w—wanted a—a shower..." I stutter between sobs as I fall to the floor. She gets there fast enough that I am sitting in her lap instead of on the floor.

"I'm going to kill him. "

"I can't go to graduation knowing he'll be there..."

"Don't worry, he won't be."

I nod. "Good."

I get up and get dressed.

"I need to get this off my chest. Let's go to the living room and get this over with!"

We walk into the living room, and everyone is staring at me except for the one person that is never coming back.

"Well, I can't keep this quiet..." I start as Rose grabs my hand and squeezes it. "I know that Alice has seen most of what I've been through, which in turn she told all of you. The guy I was dating and living with had a change of heart or something. This morning he said that I had t—t—to fuck him before I could take a shower. I told him no, but he refused to take that as an answer. He threw me on the floor and forced himself on me…." I tell everyone without taking a breath.

Everyone stiffens, and Mom is held down by Gram. Gramps walks up to me and hugs me. "How do you wish us to proceed?"

"I need my journal and my laptop. I have a job to do, then, and I'll let you know my plan."

Alice had just returned with my belongings moments before the meeting, and she hands my stuff to Uncle Jasper, who follows me into my room. "You want him dead, don't you?" Uncle Jazz asks.

"Yes, Uncle Jazz. I want the fucker dead. No one makes me feel like a weakling! No one!" I say, traitor tears falling.

"Well, where do you want to start?"

"Journal..." I say, sticking my hand out for it. He hands it to me and I lie on my bed. He lies down next to me, watching my face.

_I can't believe you are gone! You were supposed to protect me! Why?_

_I love you__,__ Jacob Black! You left me here to dwell on that __while__ you are off somewhere else doing something God __only knows__ where for whatever reason! You were not here! The one time I need you, you aren't here! You could have prevented it! But you weren't here! So some mentally fucked up person__,__ who I thought I could love__,__ ends up raping me! You're the only one I know, other than my family, who __wouldn't__ hurt me! I need you__,__ Jacob Black!_  
><em><br>All that will fix me is you. I need you with me. Please come back to me!_  
><em>~Renesmee~<em>

"That was intense..." Jasper says.

"You didn't read over my shoulder, did you?" I ask as I shut my journal.

"No, I meant your feelings. You were sad, mad, and desperate through it all. I'm not sure I want to know," he says, handing me my laptop and putting his arm behind my head. I rest on his shoulder as I log into my computer and go to the Internet.

"So, what is my scheming niece going to do?"

I decide to check my email to see if my teachers had gotten the grades from previous assignments put together. I do this to pass the time because I'm really hoping that I'll get close to a perfect score for the end of my last year.

"Yep...okay...done. Now for the fun and dirty part."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am."

He smirks, and we run into the living room. "I can tell everyone's ready..." I say as I see everyone with a duffel bag and looks of anticipation written on their faces, "but I need to feed first." Everyone laughs, and I start to go to my room when Alice stops me.

"I have your clothes from your do—"

"Throw them out. Give them to the poor. Or burn them… I don't give a damn. I'm not wearing any of it. Save my jewelry. I'll get new clothes at our next home," I say, smiling devilishly.

"A shopping spree? Are you nuts? After all you've been through, you need to take a break. I'll do the shopping. You'll be staying home."

"Yeah, after we hunt and make an asshole disappear from the face of the earth!"

I run out of the house and into the forest, still wearing my comfy outfit, looking for something to eat, until I nearly crash into a giant wolf. "Holy shit!" I scream.

The wolf shifts and then I hear him laughing. "I thought I'd find you here," he says.

"Seth! Oh, my God! What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in a while." I have to look up to see his face, and I'm 5'6".

"I'd have to say the same for you. How old are you now?"

"I'm ten," I say as he looks at me funny.

"Ten, wow. You're smokin', _chica_," he says with a grin.

I push his shoulder. "Stop flirting, Sethy!"

"Sethy? You haven't called me that since you were two…" he says, confused.

"Yeah, well, you don't usually just visit…"

"Jacob's back, and he just killed some dumbass named David, or something… He's acting weird, Nessie. I think he needs you."

"H—h—he's back?" I stutter.

"Yeah, he's been back since last year."

"What? Did you say David…? "

"He was drinking at my bar and bragging about shagging some chick. He talked shit about how he had to force her to sleep with him because she would never stay in bed with him…" I tuned him out after that.

"Sethy, did he describe this chick?"

"Smart, sexy, going to college after taking classes online all of her… No fucking way!" he says as he falls into a tree in shock. "It was you, wasn't it?" he whispers.

"Yes."

"God, no wonder he killed that son of a bitch!"

I nod and say, "Is he really dead? I was about to do it myself, but if he's really taken care of it, then I don't have to worry about it." 

"Yeah, that dude was mince meat when Jake was done with him."

"I would have loved to kill him, but knowing that even though Jacob's been gone he still cares."

"You're kidding, right? Don't tell me that you think he forgot about you! He imprinted on you the first time he saw you. He was torn. He had an opportunity to get a job in Texas and he took it. It didn't work out, so he tried to deal with what he did to you both. He's been a mess!" Seth says, frantically.

"I'm sorry, Sethy. I didn't mean…" I don't get to finish because Sethy interrupts me.

"Yeah, well, you didn't see how he treated himself. He came back and couldn't function without knowing what was happening to you."

"He watched me?" I ask in shock.

"Yeah, he did."

"I'm tired of this conversation. I'm hungry, do you want to come with me?" he asks, looking at the grass.

"That would be nice. Is there anything good to eat out here?" I ask, quietly.

He nods and says, "Yeah, follow me."

He shifts and we start running. He brings me to a whole den of lynx cats. They're not mountain lions, but they'll do. 

Jake POV

I've been gone for two years. I don't know why I didn't stay, but I had to get away for a while. The Alpha in Texas had a job for me all right—I was supposed to be his lap dog. Fuck that! I did not leave Nessie just to be some other Alpha's errand boy! I thought I was going to have a respected job, but this was ridiculous!

So I left Texas and went to Montana, where I could just run and have freedom. I enjoyed it for a while, but it wasn't the same as it could be. How it _should_ be. I left my Nessie, and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I've been moping around in a far off state, feeling sorry for myself, acting like an idiot, when I'm supposed to be protecting my Nessie. I ran away from her, using the excuse of a stupid job in Texas, but this time I'm running to something. I'm going back to watch over my Nessie.

I was afraid of Nessie doing what her mother had done to me. Being afraid of Nessie copying her mother is the most selfish thing I could have done because now I've done what Edward did to Bella, but to my Nessie. I have to find out if she's okay, so I'm running as fast as my four legs will carry me.

The first thing I do when I get back is go see Seth. I know that he and Nessie were tight. I just hope they still are.

I knock on his apartment door, hoping he's still home. After three knocks, the door opens. It's Leah. She's pissed at me because, even though she may not like vampires, Nessie has always been an exception.

"What do you want?" she asks.

"I need to talk to Seth," I say frantically.

"Seth! There's someone here to see you."

He walks down the hall, and when he sees me his eyes grow wide. "Jacob?"

"Yeah, dude, we need to talk."

We talk for hours about what I've missed. Apparently Nessie's been going to college at EWU. She seems to be doing well for herself, but there is one thing that does not sit well with me…

"Jacob, she's found someone…"


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Readers...

I'm sorry, but I have to take my stories down. If you're into my fan fictions, you can read them on two different sites depending on whether or not they're canon pairings.

Non-Canon: (http:/non-canon-lovers(dot)ning(dot)com/)

Canon: (http:/itsalwayseasyasbreathing(dot)ning(dot)com/)

~ 7 Ace


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